Coz it’s all in my head

This year was a totally different experience for me. Celebrating Christmas with my Hubby’s Family, Giving and receiving gifts from a totally different set of people, enjoying a different set of feast aside from the usual food that my mom used to cook for us every christmas and most specially having a new feeling about this Holiday Season.

A brief overview about my previous Christmas Celebrations. Dati, I usually spend my Christmas with a not so happy heart. Although the thought of Christmas alone gives me joy, ewan ko ba basta whenever it’s Christmas natataon lagi na either kaka-break ko lang with my boyfriend, or hindi na nman nagpakita at nagparamdam ang special someone ko or worse, may time pa na ang magaling kong boyfriend at that time eh may mas importanteng bagay na gagawin aside from celebrating the holiday with me. Haiz… kaya nga sobrang expert na nga ako masaktan pag Christmas kaya nga wala na syang effect sakin.

This year, medyo naiiba. Since I’m already married ofcourse I have my hubby to spend it with. pero syempre dahil iniisip ko na may jinx ako pag dating sa ganitong season, i expected na first time we’re celebrating Christmas together will be not so good as well. And here comes the 23rd od December, the whole day went well pero as the day reaches to its end ayun… sapul nga, tama ang hinala ko. He did something na super nainis ako and even caused me to call my bestfriend 12 midnight para sunduin ako at tumabay sa starbucks. Kahit na my cough is still terrible and it’s still raining hard, ay… kiber ayun kaming dalawa at nakatambay sa may Starbucks Madrigal. Kinabukasan I woke up early, around 8 am umalis na ako ng bahay. Ofcourse hindi mararamdaman ni hubby na umalis ako kasi nag-inom na naman as usual. Buti na lang at maaga nag bukas ang mall kaya tinuloy ko na lang ang Christmas shopping ko. At around 12 nn sobrang pagod na ako and worse than ever ang ubo ko so i decided to go home to parents’ house and nagtulog ako buong hapon dun. When i woke up, text galore and call ever ang hubby ko, syempre mega argue na naman sa text, pero napagod din ako kaya tinigilan ko na, wala rin namang mangyayari. Around 530 pm, bigla syang sumulpot sa bahay habang akoy natutulog, when he arrived he gave me a kiss on the cheek and i must admit, my heart melted. Instantly all my inis was gone. baHe requested for a hug and I gave him one. And that was it, bati na ulit kami. I can feel that he was sorry and he missed me pero i guess ganon lang talaga sya, not so good with words. Buti nalang okay na ang lahat.

It’s Chrsitmas eve and I gave na all my gifts to my in-laws and ofcourse my hubby. Sobrang natuwa sya sa watch that i gave him, plus the letter. After 12 midnight, my sister came and join my hubby and his cousins sa inuman. Too bad hindi ako pwede umo inom, i wanted stay para makipag kwentuhan nalang pero hassle ang ubo at sipon ko kaya i slept nalang. Ayun kinabukasan nagpakwento na lang ako sa kanila.

Haiz… This is really something new for me. First time na happy ang Christmas ko. (Thanks to my hubby na kahit na usually ginagawa pero Christmas eve sinama nya ako sa lahat ng pinupuntahan nyang bahay ng friends nya plus the mega asikaso kung kumain na ba ako at anong gusto ko). First time din sa buong buhay ko na may sakit ako kaya “I’m such a loser” when it comes to eating dessert…. waaah…. imagine not being able to eat the leche flan, chocolate cake, fruit salad (my favorite.. huhu), gelatin, macaroni salad, ube at kung ano ano pang cake plus i can’t even drink cold water… waaa it soooo sucks! Pero haiz hayaan ko na nga if this is what it takes to have a joyous Christmas carry na rin. Pag-gumaling na tlaga ako kakainin ko lahat yan. Plus manood agad ako ng sine since super bed rest ako, Dec 26, hindi kami nakasama manood ni hubby ng sine at mag gala sa mall… hehehe….

Things are lot better since the last time I posted an entry here. I was able to finish the book I borrowed from Billie and I spent a lot of time with my Mom, Dad, Sister and most specially my Sykes family.

Last Friday, after I attended the Megamall Jobfair, me and my team mates went to Central in Pioneer. It was a blast. Had so much fun even though it’s late and way past my bed time… I miss being able to stay up all night and not feel sleepy at all, I also miss drinking (though am not really a drinker) and I miss smoking. Oh well di bale this time next year I’m sure I can na ulit. hehe…

Saturday (Nov 29), It’s my Mother-in-law’s birthday, after staying at my parents house for 3 consecutive nights, I have no choice but to go home. Alex fetched me then we went to MOA. Together with the Valencia Clan, we watched the mall parade and ate dinner afterwards. Alex and I haven’t had a chance to really talk to each other about certain things, but I guess we’re good. Much better I can say.

Sunday (Nov 30), My mother-in-law had a medical mission on her office so again the whole family is there to support her.

Monday (Dec 1), Good thing it’s still no work day, had the chance to sleep well. It’s the third day celebration of Mama Odette’s birthday. The whole clan went to Star City and though most of the time I was just sitting and watching the kids enjoy the rides, I still enjoyed the whole experience. I even got a few pens from the shooting game that Alex played.

With all these… I came to realize what I used to believe, that : “Happiness has always been a matter of choice”. I’m already in this relationship, I chose to be forever committed to Alex and his whole family. I loved him and the whole family in the first place so why would I bother let little things / misunderstandings get in the way of a beautiful life ahead of us. Oh well, I’m a lot better now. I’ve decided to be more optimistic about things and I can see it’s really working. I’m enjoying my life now. Good thing that in the process of this realization, a lot of people I love and adore is there for me. Without them I just can’t imagine what could have happened.