Since Yuna started eating when she was 6 months old. We can’t help but laugh on how funny she looks when faced with a grown-up meal.

8th month bannoffee pie

It’s yuna’s 8th month birthday last October 12, 2009.

I’m very lucky that though I didn’t have money to buy her an expensive cake, I was able to save my starbucks GC for times like this. I also remembered that I still have the candles during her christening, so that’s what I plan on placing on the top of her pie.

When I arrived at home, she was already about to sleep. I let her for a few minutes and when my tita who takes care of her  left already, I woke her up. hehehe… bad mommy. Any ways, I’m glad that though I bothered her sleep, she didn’t show any grumpiness. It’s as if she understood that the reason why I did that is because I have a surprise for her. Funny because after 20 minutes of picture taking, giggling, playing and eating. I forced her to sleep again. hehe..

Yuna is really my angel, and I’ll never be tired of celebrating the day that she was given to me by God.

sLEEPy yUnA

A brief overview about my previous Christmas Celebrations. Dati, I usually spend my Christmas with a not so happy heart. Although the thought of Christmas alone gives me joy, ewan ko ba basta whenever it’s Christmas natataon lagi na either kaka-break ko lang with my boyfriend, or hindi na nman nagpakita at nagparamdam ang special someone ko or worse, may time pa na ang magaling kong boyfriend at that time eh may mas importanteng bagay na gagawin aside from celebrating the holiday with me. Haiz… kaya nga sobrang expert na nga ako masaktan pag Christmas kaya nga wala na syang effect sakin.

This year, medyo naiiba. Since I’m already married ofcourse I have my hubby to spend it with. pero syempre dahil iniisip ko na may jinx ako pag dating sa ganitong season, i expected na first time we’re celebrating Christmas together will be not so good as well. And here comes the 23rd od December, the whole day went well pero as the day reaches to its end ayun… sapul nga, tama ang hinala ko. He did something na super nainis ako and even caused me to call my bestfriend 12 midnight para sunduin ako at tumabay sa starbucks. Kahit na my cough is still terrible and it’s still raining hard, ay… kiber ayun kaming dalawa at nakatambay sa may Starbucks Madrigal. Kinabukasan I woke up early, around 8 am umalis na ako ng bahay. Ofcourse hindi mararamdaman ni hubby na umalis ako kasi nag-inom na naman as usual. Buti na lang at maaga nag bukas ang mall kaya tinuloy ko na lang ang Christmas shopping ko. At around 12 nn sobrang pagod na ako and worse than ever ang ubo ko so i decided to go home to parents’ house and nagtulog ako buong hapon dun. When i woke up, text galore and call ever ang hubby ko, syempre mega argue na naman sa text, pero napagod din ako kaya tinigilan ko na, wala rin namang mangyayari. Around 530 pm, bigla syang sumulpot sa bahay habang akoy natutulog, when he arrived he gave me a kiss on the cheek and i must admit, my heart melted. Instantly all my inis was gone. baHe requested for a hug and I gave him one. And that was it, bati na ulit kami. I can feel that he was sorry and he missed me pero i guess ganon lang talaga sya, not so good with words. Buti nalang okay na ang lahat.

It’s Chrsitmas eve and I gave na all my gifts to my in-laws and ofcourse my hubby. Sobrang natuwa sya sa watch that i gave him, plus the letter. After 12 midnight, my sister came and join my hubby and his cousins sa inuman. Too bad hindi ako pwede umo inom, i wanted stay para makipag kwentuhan nalang pero hassle ang ubo at sipon ko kaya i slept nalang. Ayun kinabukasan nagpakwento na lang ako sa kanila.

Haiz… This is really something new for me. First time na happy ang Christmas ko. (Thanks to my hubby na kahit na usually ginagawa pero Christmas eve sinama nya ako sa lahat ng pinupuntahan nyang bahay ng friends nya plus the mega asikaso kung kumain na ba ako at anong gusto ko). First time din sa buong buhay ko na may sakit ako kaya “I’m such a loser” when it comes to eating dessert…. waaah…. imagine not being able to eat the leche flan, chocolate cake, fruit salad (my favorite.. huhu), gelatin, macaroni salad, ube at kung ano ano pang cake plus i can’t even drink cold water… waaa it soooo sucks! Pero haiz hayaan ko na nga if this is what it takes to have a joyous Christmas carry na rin. Pag-gumaling na tlaga ako kakainin ko lahat yan. Plus manood agad ako ng sine since super bed rest ako, Dec 26, hindi kami nakasama manood ni hubby ng sine at mag gala sa mall… hehehe….

Ayan, 30 minuntes nalang parteee na!!!

1. Scrap book Materials – Syempre… naisip ko magstart na kaya ako ng scrap book for yuna, mejo madami dami na rin akong mailalagay.. kaso naisip ko din pano pag ndi ko trip yung materials na bibigay sakin.

2. Cartoons VCD (eg: Cinderella, Finding Nemo, Peter Pan, etc) – But then again kaya ko naman syang bilhin.

3. Case for 6500 slide phone – kaso naiisip ko ulit pano pag ndi ko na trip yung phone

4. Yung usual kong wish, CD ng Parokya Ni Edgar – hmmm.. pero wala naman silang bagong album..

5. Books from Book Sale – yung tipong 10 books for 300 Php. Kaso pano kung ndi ko gsuto yung libro.. wala naman din akong masyadong favorite na author.

haiz.. so hirap waaa ayaw ko din namn ng walang wishlist. Ang labo ko talaga… hehe.. One of these days makakaisip din ako

The last two gifts I got made me say awww… and even made me cry. haiz..really a lot of things have changed over the year and these gifts reminds me of what I’ve been through, some nice and some not so… but what’s good about this is, that through it all I’m still here to receive them, so I’m good hehe…

It’s really a wonder how this kind of gesture melts my heart and is one of the reason why I’m excited about the Christmas season.

Can’t wait till Christmas eve so I can open all my gifts

Last Friday, after I attended the Megamall Jobfair, me and my team mates went to Central in Pioneer. It was a blast. Had so much fun even though it’s late and way past my bed time… I miss being able to stay up all night and not feel sleepy at all, I also miss drinking (though am not really a drinker) and I miss smoking. Oh well di bale this time next year I’m sure I can na ulit. hehe…

Saturday (Nov 29), It’s my Mother-in-law’s birthday, after staying at my parents house for 3 consecutive nights, I have no choice but to go home. Alex fetched me then we went to MOA. Together with the Valencia Clan, we watched the mall parade and ate dinner afterwards. Alex and I haven’t had a chance to really talk to each other about certain things, but I guess we’re good. Much better I can say.

Sunday (Nov 30), My mother-in-law had a medical mission on her office so again the whole family is there to support her.

Monday (Dec 1), Good thing it’s still no work day, had the chance to sleep well. It’s the third day celebration of Mama Odette’s birthday. The whole clan went to Star City and though most of the time I was just sitting and watching the kids enjoy the rides, I still enjoyed the whole experience. I even got a few pens from the shooting game that Alex played.

With all these… I came to realize what I used to believe, that : “Happiness has always been a matter of choice”. I’m already in this relationship, I chose to be forever committed to Alex and his whole family. I loved him and the whole family in the first place so why would I bother let little things / misunderstandings get in the way of a beautiful life ahead of us. Oh well, I’m a lot better now. I’ve decided to be more optimistic about things and I can see it’s really working. I’m enjoying my life now. Good thing that in the process of this realization, a lot of people I love and adore is there for me. Without them I just can’t imagine what could have happened.

“But this is real life, we always have no control of things. Unexpected things happen and unexpected people comes. ” Then suddenly you are faced in a situation that you really haven’t thought of.

As of this writing, my life is not really what I imagined it would be. It’s not all flowers and butterflies, actually at some point I thought of my situation as a punishment, a slap on my face to make me realize what I’ve done wrong in the past, how hard it is to escape when you once enter a dead-end.

For quite sometime I tried really hard to keep all these things to myself. Trying to project to people around me that I’m alright and I am happy. At some point, I must admit I am. At some point I must admit I felt hope. But now, little things have piled up. I can no longer pretend that everything is okay.

I really need to run… I really need to hide… Before I lose my self respect. Before I suffer really hard that I can no longer love myself, moreover love others.

Today, after a month of not crying, I cried. Somehow it felt good. Because It’s not just crying that I did. I also opened my self up to my sister and Tan. I ranted, poured all my heart out, no restrictions. I no longer care what they’ll think. I no longer cared even if they’d say I told you so. But good thing they didn’t. They’re just there, listening. I never thought it would feel this great. Like what Tan told me after I tell her that I’m fond of watching movies alone: “You’re not suppose to be alone, we’ll all watch together”. At that point it came to me, I don’t need to go through all this by myself. I have my friends and specially I have my family who will understand. Who instead of mock me will hug me.

But of course above all this… amidst all this hurt, there’s still a small part of me hoping to find my real life fairy tale.

thanks Tan and Sis!

It’s around 8:00 pm when we decided to find our way home. Hindi alam ni Khaye san sasakay pauwi kaya ayun, we sat on the stairs in BCT habang ninanamnam ang malamig na simoy ng hangin at nag-iisip ano ang magandang sakyan. Sinama ko na lang si Khaye sa glorietta to see kung may mga van dun papunta sa kanila. Buti na lang meron naman. Ako, as usual I took a bus going to Alabang.

It was around 9:30 when I arrived at my parent’s house. Nandun si Mama, my sister and cousin. Kumain lang ako ng masarap na Pakbet ni Mama and watched my favorite TV Shows. Around 10:30 when I felt so sleepy kaya I decided to go home. On my way out of the house and into the street corner where I can ride a tryc, Mama was walking behind me. Nung mga panahong yun, all I want to do is hug her very very very tight. I want to kiss her and put my head on her shoulder kaso ewan ko ba siguro sobrang nahihiya lang ako. Ganito ako kasi siguro halos 2 weeks din kaming hindi nagkita and I really really miss my Mom. Hinintay nya pa talaga ako makasakay bago sya bumalik. Pag-upong pag-upo sa tryc bigla na lang tumulo yung luha ko, parang gripong hindi ko mapigilan. Para bang gusto kong bumaba ulit, habulin sya, i-hug sya ng mahigpit at sabihan na miss na miss ko na sya…

Nung mga panahong yun, nainggit ako sa kapatid ko. I saw pano sya asikasuhin ng Mama ko. Kung pano rin nya ako i-baby dati, ipaghain ng pagkain, ibili ng kung ano man sa tindahan… waaaa I really miss my mom.